We've been slowly working our way through J.C. Ryle's little book The Duties of Parents since autumn. (The last post on it links to all the others before it so far.)
Today we're looking at duty #7:
Train them to habits of diligence, and regularity about public means of grace.
That means, show and tell your kids how important it is to attend church regularly. :) You may recall from some previous duties of parents that it is kind of futile to teach something to your kids if you, yourself, aren't doing it.
If you are not a believer in Jesus, the habit of attending church is not going to earn you any points with God. :) Nothing you do can earn you points with God. However, if you attend a gospel-centered church, you will hear the gospel, and see it in action, and that is never a waste of time. In fact, it is a very good investment of time. It is one of the best investments in time you can possibly make.
If you are a believer in Christ, there is no substitute for being a part of the body of Christ. No book, weekly Bible study, Christian friend, online community, recorded sermon series, or personal devotional life can replace worshipping, serving, and growing in God together in a church.
Hebrews 10:24 and the beginning of verse 25 says, "And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another ..."
Romans 12:4-5 says "For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another."
1 Corinthians 12:22-31 talks extensively about "one body with many members" and reminds believers, "If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together. Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it."
Ephesians 4:11-6 gives a really clear picture of our purpose in coming together in church:
And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.
Get yourself to church, girlfriend. :) You need to find a gospel-centered church that teaches the whole counsel of God. If you do not know where to start in finding such a church, I encourage you to consult the Gospel Coalition Church Directory and the 9 Marks Church Search.
I know "9 Marks" sounds like something weird. It's not. It refers to the "nine marks of a healthy church," according to the Bible. "According to the Bible" is a really important idea here. :)
D.A. Carson writes,
Sooner or later Christians tire of public meetings that are profoundly inauthentic, regardless of how well (or poorly) arranged, directed, performed. We long to meet, corporately, with the living and majestic God and to offer him the praise that is his due.
Here are nine marks of a healthy, profoundly authentic church:
1. Preaching: Your pastor should open God’s Word, take the main point of a biblical text, make it the main point of a sermon, and apply it to life today. That's called "expositional preaching." Expositional preaching is important because God’s Word is what convicts, converts, builds up, and sanctifies God’s people (Hebrews 4:12; 1 Peter 1:23; 1 Thessalonians 2:13; John 17:17). Preaching that makes the main point of the text the main point of the sermon makes God’s agenda rule the church, rather than the preacher’s agenda.
2. Biblical Theology: Your church needs to have sound doctrine. "Sound doctrine" is thoughts and beliefs about God that are in accordance with what the Bible says about God. You should be hearing what God says about God, rather than simply how someone wishes God were. (John 17:17; 1 John 1:1-4)
3. Gospel: Your church needs to be centered around the gospel of Jesus Christ. Romans 1-4 contains one of the fullest explanations of the gospel in all of Scripture. If you want to read a succinct summary of the gospel, try 1 Corinthians 15:1-4.
4. Conversion: Your church needs to have a view of conversion that acknowledges that God must act, and people must act. A biblical understanding of conversion recognizes that only God can save, and that He saves individuals by enabling them to respond to the gospel message through repenting of sin and trusting in Christ. (Mark 1:15; John 3:1-8; Romans 6:1-23)
5. Evangelism: Your church should evangelize. Biblical evangelism means (1) sharing the message about Jesus’ death and resurrection with non-Christians and (2) calling them to repent and believe. (Matthew 28:19-20, Romans 10:14-17; 1 Peter 3:15-16)
6. Church membership: Your church should recognize that church membership isn’t just names on a list or an emotional attachment to your childhood church. It’s attending, loving, serving, and submitting to a congregation of people.
7. Discipline: Your church should look and act differently than the world, and should practice church discipline. In the broadest sense, church discipline is everything the church does to help its members pursue holiness and fight sin. Preaching, teaching, prayer, corporate worship, accountability relationships, and godly oversight by pastors and elders are all forms of discipline. In a narrower sense, church discipline is the act of correcting sin in the life of the body. With discipline, we will, by God’s grace, bear peaceful fruit of righteousness (Hebrews 12:5-11).
8. Discipleship: Your church should exhort its members to grow in holiness and help others do the same. Christians learn by instruction and imitation, which means that churches are where both should happen. (2 Peter 3:18)
9. Leadership: The Bible teaches that churches should be led by a plurality of godly, qualified shepherds. The Bible calls them "elders". (1 Timothy 3:1-7; Titus 1:5-9)
If you have any questions about these marks of a healthy church as according to the Bible, there is more information here, including further scriptural references describing each "mark". (I gave a sample of Bible references, but not all.) You are also free to email me with any questions or concerns.
So back to our kids. :) Ryle writes,
...there are some who say that it is useless to urge children to attend means of grace, because they cannot understand them. I would not have you listen to such reasoning. I find no such doctrine in the Old Testament ... And when I turn to the New Testament, I find children mentioned there as partaking in public acts of religion as well as in the Old.
He gives lots of examples from the Bible, including Exodus 10:9, Joshua 8:35, and Acts 21:5.
He also points out that even the disciples, who were adults, did not seem to have understood everything Jesus said at the time He said it. (John 12:16) Ryle continues:
Be not cast down because your children see not the full value of the means of grace now. Only train them up to a habit of regular attendance. Set it before their minds as a high, holy, and solemn duty, and believe me, the day will very likely come when they will bless you for your deed.
In their book How People Change, Timothy S. Lane and Paul David Tripp write:
My work with teenagers has convinced me that one of the main reasons teenagers are not excited by the gospel is that they do not think they need it. Many parents have successfully raised self-righteous little Pharisees. When they look at themselves, they do not see a sinner in desperate need, so they are not grateful for a Savior. Sadly, the same is true of many of their parents.
So that's something to think about, ay? Are we showing our kids why we ourselves need the gospel so desperately? And not just telling them that they do? If you already take your kids to church, do they know why they're going?
I could write a whole lot more about the blessing and immeasurable value of being a part of the body of Christ, and of teaching your kids to also regularly attend church. But I pray that you get it.
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