shopping for time, part 4 of 6

Here is the third tip in Shopping for Time:

Sit and Plan (Taking a Personal Retreat)

The authors write, "The idea is to set aside an extended time once or twice a year for study, prayer, and evaluation. In other words, take a personal retreat."

Have you ever had such a personal retreat before? I haven't. I mean, I've had extended time alone before, but I haven't used it to plan anything out. I think maybe I played video games. Ha. I'd like to do a whole weekend like this some time.  Anyway, they explain that you can do this whether you can swing an overnight away, or a full day, or just a few hours. I went with the "just a few hours" option and did it this week.

Again, I encourage you to read the book. You will use this time to evaluate your life. The authors suggest that you tailor their suggestions to your own style, and use their ideas to get your own ideas flowing.  In a nutshell, here is their plan:

Step #1: Get a pen and a piece of paper (or a laptop) and begin by listing your priorities. (Make sure you're alone and can be alone for long enough to complete this.)

My own list is there in that picture up top.  I felt like an uninspired copycat because my list is basically the example they give, but the authors point out the following:

Although your list may look slightly different, it's important that your priorities come from God's word and not cultural or personal preference. We should all have similar priorities stemming from our identity as Christian women, even though we may use other words or categories to describe them.

So now I don't feel so bad for copying. :)  And the next step in the planning is very unique and personal to each person.

Step #2: Once you've made a list of your (big-picture) priorities, you're going to create a separate page for each priority, and get detailed.  Prayerfully evaluate each priority in your life, and write down how you're doing for each one.  Where are you doing well, and what needs to change?  How can you grow in each area?

The book takes a very good look at each sample priority it gives, and shows each is Biblical.  For example, for "Grow in Godliness," they quote Timothy 4:8:

. . . for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.

Then they suggest that with this priority, you (1) consider your practice of meeting with God ("How can I make my devotions more fruitful"?) and (2) evaluate your progress in personal holiness ("what is one area where I believe God is calling me to grow in godliness?")

So now you have this big list of things you need to work on, and your head is spinning. :)

Step #3 is to look at all you've written, and ask yourself this question:

What one or two priorities do I want to focus on for the next three to six months, and what steps will I take to grow in each area?

The authors explain:

. . . don't try to change in every area at once. This is extremely important. If you target too many areas for growth, you may fail to make progress in any of them and end up more discouraged than when you began. However, if you develop a plan to change in one area, you will be surprised at the dramatic difference it will make.

When I looked at my own list, I found two areas where I wanted to concentrate. (This certainly doesn't mean that I have it together in the other areas! It just means that when I prayed and thought about this, these two items stood out as priorities at this time in my life.)

First of all, under "loving my family," I saw a need to be much more methodical and purposeful in my parenting of Claire.

I'm always parenting her, of course, but as she gets older I have seen some character qualities that need encouragement or correction.  As her mom, I'm in a prime position to guide her slowly, methodically, and prayerfully as she develops.  I do not think I have spent as much time on this, or thought about this as much as I need to.  I also see that I have been very hit-or-miss regarding her schedule and how she spends her own time each day.

Some suggestions in the book are helping me quite specifically in figuring out what is working and what isn't working in my parenting of Claire. 

I've been thinking deeply about her training, and writing down "how to make [my] guidelines and commands more clear, [my] language more simple and biblical, and how to prevent situations in which [Claire is] tempted to disobey." 

I'm also working on Claire's dinnertime etiquette and her overall daily and weekly schedules.  And I'm helping her develop her own daily devotional time with God.

I decided that my second area to focus on would be "caring for my physical body".  I am overweight, and if I'm dead from heart disease or diabetes or any other weight-induced ailments, it will make it much harder for me to work on any of these other areas. :) 

So I've been charting out an exercise plan that fits my schedule and my preferences (actually, my preference is "don't exercise," so I'm kind of ignoring my preferences). 

I'm also working on my heart attitude about exercising.  I have noticed that I have a really snotty attitude inside me (although not outside me) when helpful people give me unsolicited advice about my weight or exercise. I always think "Did I ask you?" How sweet of me. :P So I'm working hard on recognizing that when people do this, it's because they love me and are being helpful.  They are not necessarily being critical in the way I am critical about myself in this area!

I hope these examples have been helpful to you, and that if you are able to take such a retreat, that you really benefit from examining your priorities and then figuring out how you can act on them.  I do think that I'm going to try and do a longer retreat in a few months just so that I can really delve into some of these other areas, and spend more time in the Word.

Here is something to think about from the book. It's a quote from author Jean Fleming:

Life for Jesus was short and busy, too. He lived on earth fully aware that the clock was ticking away. Jesus had only three-and-a-half years for public ministry, but this didn't keep Him from taking personal retreats. Jesus modeled and taught regular withdrawal into God's presence.  The Gospel of Mark, the most action-packed account of the life of Jesus, shows Him continually pulling back from opportunities to minister so that He could pray and listen to His father. His life illustrates that perfect life; one of retreat followed by intense involvement in the world.