speech

I've watched "Jon & Kate Plus 8" two times. I TiVo'd it the beginning of last year some time after I heard many people talking about it and got curious. 

I didn't care for it, because I didn't like how Jon and Kate talked to and about each other on national television.  That seems like a really bad idea, to diss your spouse before four million plus people.

I've mentioned before that I'm not really a fan of reality television. Discretion doesn't seem to be something that is big on these shows.  I know some of them must be good, but the few I've peeked at seem designed to bring out the worst in human nature. The shows also seem edited in a way that overemphasizes adversarial relationships.  I guess this makes for good ratings? I don't know.

Drama doesn't seem to bother me in scripted television, however, so maybe I'm being hypocritical. I'm not sure. It seems less offensive to me when it's not real.  :) But I'm trying to be more discerning about what I watch, and how much.

I remember someone telling me a long time ago not to mistake sophistication in teenagers for maturity. I think about this idea a lot in relation to the kind of people Hollywood holds out for us to admire. There's a lot of sophistication, and not much maturity.

I have tried extra hard to surround myself with mature women, so that my head gets filled up with good stuff instead of junk and fluff.  I'm really influenced by who I hang out with. Garbage in, garbage out. :)

I'm not very tolerant of chronic whining or complaining (it's like fingernails on a chalkboard), because it seems like those things come from a fundamental ungratefulness for life, and a princesslike sense of entitlement.  I really enjoy being with women who have a foundational thankfulness for the blessings in their life. It seems like there are a lot of whiners on reality t.v.  Is this true?

And I hate gossip, and hate myself when I mess up and do it, so I try to steer clear of that, too.  (It really takes two people to gossip.)  If I hung out with a pack of gossipy women, I'd just get pulled right down into it (it's good to know yourself), so for me it's good to just stay away from that whole scene.  (Although I do keep checking the online news to find out if Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are really dating or not. Why do I care about this? I do not know.)

Actually, when I think about it, I've never gone in for group gossip. I don't remember ever doing that. But if I get really frustrated with somebody, I'll do that mumbling complaining thing.  And that's gossip.  And it just makes me feel yuck.  I'm really thankful for the non-gossipers in my life who make it easy for me to not get going.

Whining and gossip are just two of so many ways to really not make the most of the gift of speech.  There are other categories such as "shrieking at your husband like a banshee" and "lying unto death to get out of trouble" and "being snarky" and "talking just to hear the sound of your own voice" and . . . oh, you know. 

I want to be a wise speaker.  I want my words to be encouraging, and discrete, and gentle, and God-honoring.

I have a lot to learn.  When I'm comfortable with people, like my family, I tend to just say whatever random, irrelevant, or even unkind thing floats into my head.  So lovely.

Somebody said, "if you want to be wise, read Proverbs."  (Actually, I think Solomon said it. In the beginning of Proverbs. Ha.) 

I would add, "if you want to get really convicted about how you speak, read Proverbs."  There are so many verses in it about speech! Here are a few that I've been really thinking about lately. 

Put away from you crooked speech, and put devious talk far from you. (Prov. 4:24)

When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent. (Prov. 10:19)

There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. (Prov. 12:8)

Leave the presence of a fool, for there you do not meet words of knowledge.(Prov. 14:7)

The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly. (Prov. 15:2)

The heart of the wise makes his speech judicious and adds persuasiveness to his lips. (Prov. 16:23)

Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body. (Prov. 16:24)

An evildoer listens to wicked lips, and a liar gives ear to a mischievous tongue. (Prov. 17:4)

A man of crooked heart does not discover good, and one with a dishonest tongue falls into calamity. (Prov. 17:20)

Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. (Prov. 17:27)

A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion. (Prov. 18:2)

A fool's lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating. (Prov. 18:6)

Death and life are in the power of the tongue . . . (Prov. 18:21)

Better is a poor person who walks in his integrity than one who is crooked in speech and is a fool. (Prov. 19:1)

Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble. (Prov. 21:23)

She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. (Prov. 31:26)